On a hot and steamy Saturday morning a motley crew met at the pavilion for a
trip to southport home of Royal Birkdale.
With the chara-bang packed with clubs,shoes and clothes(E17 overnight bag a
beautifully crafted waitrose carrier bag)the chancellor fired up the 2.4litre
Diesel engine and off we set.
After a pretty uneventful journey we arrived at the celebrious Bold hotel where
we were greeted by Captain Stanley Matthews and Mick 'never buys a round'Wardle
at this point we took on some liquid refreshments.We then moved on to that
wonderful michelin starred establishment 'The Fish'.
After more refreshments our hosts very generously treated us to a gourmet lunch
that tantalised the taste buds,there was just time for one more beverage then we
left for the course.
The captains decided on a 'best 2 from 4'format at £2 a man and with st georges
having a £3 a man stableford battle commenced.
At the turn pants and Betty led the lads with a terrific 20 points each and a 4
point lead from bellies and sparrow,gonzo and 2point had already thrown in the
towel,mr burns and the chancellor were struggling with the perfect golfing
conditions and with E17 having lost more balls than points scored dragging the
tax man down it turned into a four horse race.
On the back 9 true to form pants spat out his dummy,sparrow was steady,Betty
like an old woman bottled it and the bellies came through to win.Bellies
35,Betty 34,Pants and Sparrow 33 each,Chancellor 25,Mr Burns 24,Tax man 22,E17
17 and 10 balls,Gonzo and 2pt didn't keep their scores.In the team game
Bellies,Betty,Captain Stan and Private Pete beat Pants,Gonzo,POWP(pissed off
with pants)Phil and tight Mick on count back 88 points.
Back in the clubhouse ale was consumed Krankie style where Bellies
inadverternately accused private Pete of an incestous relationship with his
mother which didn't amuse his brother.
Time for the speeches
Back to the hotel for a change of attire and more refreshments.
At this time I think we witnessed the beginning of a bromance when 2 senior
members of the club went for a romantic curry together (broke back mountain
comes to mind).E17 decided to stay in the hotel I think he was worried about
someone stealing his carrier bag.The rest of the tribe headed into southport to
sample the finest hostelries the town could offer unfortunately at this time
things started to get hazy magners,strongbow,stella and jäger bombs taking their
toll.
Tres amusant. With regard to the staying in at hotel of our E17, I can't help but think that if he had not been so flash with his designer Waitrose weekender bag and the resulting concerns to it's safety, and instead taken his standard disposable Tesco overnight bag (available instore for less than 2 a penny sometimes a BOGOF), then the group would have seen the real bar-room revelery skills from the Brazilian Bunga Bunga party specialist as recently displayed at Meon, Southampton.
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