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Tuesday 22 May 2012

An Umpa LUmpa story

An Umpa LUmpa comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house.
As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
COLD BEER: $5.00
HAMBURGER: $10.00
CHEESEBURGER: $15.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $18.50
HAND J*b: $250.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the Umpa walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.
She glides down behind the bar to the Umpa LUmpa
“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you sir?”
The Umpa leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?”
She looks into his wrinkled eyes and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes sir, I sure am.”
The old Umpa leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly,
“Well then, be sure to wash your hands real good, because I want a bud, a sol and an oasis.”
- Posted from my super-duper iPad 3
By H. Sweaty.

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