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Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Sundays Medal

I,m taking an educated guess that there is more chance of Travelodge getting his dropped kerb plans approved than there is of a medal being played on Sunday!

That will give Wee man a bit longer to go and buy a shirt with a collar on it for the Medal!!!

Snow on the hills

Don't forget to bring a kango with you on Saturday... to get this soil into the Divot marks!

Monday, 26 February 2018

More divotting info from gonzo

If you  received  this on a text. .. he's waiting for a reply...
gents we have a mass divotting party this Saturday 3rd March 715 meet in green keepers carpark please can you confirm your attendance asap as we require a minimum of 18 people look forward to hearing from you hopefully tonight thanks
Gonzo 

March divotting work party

Gerry, would you blog up a reminder to all the avid readers the first March divotting party this Saturday!!!, if any problems contact Silverback ASAP, I know he went to Ireland at the weekend but believe he will be back on the jungle drums tomorrow!!
Cheers,
King of the Chips 😉

Mad dash to peterborough

No Moobs on the hills as he had to drive to Peterborough to pick up the new Pup for his Missus 50th.
Lets hope it is  well trained and don't run upstairs and christen the new mattress!

More dosh in the Charity Bottle

Once again, Capt Betty is £10 lighter in the wallet after having to pay out the H.S. in their weekly "loser puts a fiver in the charity Bottle"
I believe the Capt is still waiting for his first win against the ever so consistent Sweaty!

2.5 Bellies has it sussed!

Not only does 2.5 Bellies attend the majority of games on the hills (has even made a guest appearance in the Fine Dining Club) but more importantly gets the Missus to drop him off at the Club on Sunday Mornings so he can enjoy post-match Chumleys with his Mentor 5 Bellies.
Unfortunately his Mentor can only have 2 bottles as he has to drive........

Snow on the Hills

With 0c outside Today, not much action on the Hills.
With our resident Brickies needing "3 deg and rising", there will be a bit of Thumb twiddling from Parker and Mumbles!
Get down the range Parker and practice that much needed Short game!
Alternatively try putting out the heather, like your 4some partner has down to perfection!

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Winkle of the week

Capt never named one ... but WTC 20 pts is worth a mention😊

Upma trophy

Congratulations to a combined effort  of hut and ex umpas winning the hoebridge   umpa cup on Friday. . Winning  a 4 ball for burhill

New board name tag positions

F1 meticulously placed  the name tags in alphabetical order. .. capt and vice at top.
Please keep them in order for ease of finding names.

Sunday results

10 up for the sun friendly... same  old name's
Capt opted for best stbd score won by 5B with 35pts on frozen greens.
Swindle  won By bellies with stroller 2nd.
Only 1 probationer up today.. 2.5.

Birthday wishes

Many happy returns to chief umpas  reevsey who turns 65 today and begins a new career as an interior designer 😮😮

Friday, 23 February 2018

Friday results

Only  4 on the hills  today... fine dining club 4 ball.
Only 11 holes played due  to cold weather.
One tie all tie.
5B 23pts
HS 23pts
Betty 17 pts
Divot.. proper  shit! .
HS 11 skins.
Betty /HS beat the other 2 clowns on last hole.

Which  par 3 hole were we looking for the famous utility driver?
Answers on a postcard please😊
Pie mash and mushy peas cooked  by chef bellies for the fine dining club members. . And guests. .

Winter work party

Please  wrap up warm as it's a cold one Saturday.
Luckily we found a balaclava to keep Gonzo nice and warm. .

Thursday, 22 February 2018

Saturdays work party info


Back to plumbing school

No golf for Badger today or Friday as he attended the plumbing corgi gas school. .
Good luck  in the exams tomorrow badger...

No Umpas on Friday

The Umpas Lumpas are playing at Hoebridge on Friday.. with the West Byfleet Crew.
I,m hearing the W.B.C. are playing at Hoebridge for the luxury of putting on proper greens for the first time in 3 months!!

Ring Any Bells?

Just seen an advert for an old movie...and it reminded me of a newish Member!

Tuesday, 20 February 2018

All greens sanded

Red closed  yesterday. . Blue closed today.
Heavily  sanded.. but still rolling  well😊

Tues roll up results

Only 3 playing today at 3.30.
No dosh changed hands.
Badger 19
HS  19
Divot 18.. one tie all tie..
On WTC's strict  instructions. .. 5B was in attendance to boost bar takings.
Hopefully with the light getting  better, we will see the Umpa lumpas coming  out of hibernation. ..and ofill course all probationers welcome 😊

New bag needed

H.S needs new golf bag as phone  keeps falling out and clicking at random.
Unfortunately  it managed  to take a piccie of Badger out driving Divot by millimetres. . But long way behind H. S.

Difficult to see HS ball as miles in front  of Badger. ...😆

A bit tight.. but just managed to get it on!


Monday, 19 February 2018

Tues roll up

With swimpy and divots  dosh in my sky rocket  ... I'm looking for some more Muppets. ... sorry playing  partners for traditional  tues roll up ..
I'm around at 3.30 for 9..
App me if ur about 😊
All welcome , especially probationers with cash to spare😆😆

FRIENDLY SUNDAY 25TH FEB

Next Match on the Hills is a friendly.
W.T.C. is sending an Uber round to 5B gaff if he is still injured after the massive hit the Club took on Sun on bar takings!

Sunday, 18 February 2018

Summer Divotting/blackberry picking

Gents
Gentle  reminder that the 1st Summer Divotting  session is on THURSDAY 29th march
 Not Friday 30th. . It's a bank  holiday that weekend 😊

New club rule

New club rule  just brought  in. .. If you play/score  like a CNUT. .. you have to sit on the naughty chair😊
Rumours  that Dean  had to use his sat nav to find the hut  are untrue 😆

New shirt a bit big for shaggy

Dazzas shirt just a little too big for shaggy

3rd rnd hillier results

16 up for the 3rd round.

Wtc.. the new car park golfer wins 3rd rnd with 39 pts albeit on the boys course  (red).
Also wins  swindle and no drinks bought. .. as bar emptied out at 12.30😕.
Duracell  still in lead and has a 29 to drop... but  silverback who has a new lease  of life on his new tablets  shoots 36 and has a 27 to drop.
Full scores  below.

Vice krankie  filled in for betty, who was spending  some family  time down in Kent 


Bellies hurts his foot.... clubs profits take a nosedive

With 5B missing the 3rd hillier rnd the club bar empties at 12.30...

Saturday, 17 February 2018

Football

No golf you Betty this weekend
But looking forward to Tuesday

Hillier 17th February

Sorry  boys Captain can't make tomorrow due to family commitments
Play well and look forward  to hearing  the scores
Betty

Friday, 16 February 2018

Fine dining club guest passes recinded

There are rumours that today's  guests didn't pass the test today.
Swampy  turned up wif  a couple of spam burgers. ... divots pizza's were not worth talking about.
Resident fine dining  club manager 5 "Ramsey " bellies was overheard saying... that the food served was not of the standard expected in the fine dining  club facilities 😆😆

Friday results

4 fine dining  club members.
Bellies.. HS.. swampy  and divot.

Duracell  and krankie.
(Joined  on back  9 by Jack spratt)
WTC and Dave L.
H.s cleaned up in stbd.
H.S. & BELLIES spanked swampy and divot.

Half between krankie and duracell.
Not sure on other matches.
Travelodge and krankie seen filling  in holes in road. .. well done guys. ..
If anyone has a spare  10 mins  before  playing. ..fill ur boots😊
Gonzo  popped  in for pre match drinks.
Unlike  WTC...  carpark  golfer 😂😂

Thursday, 15 February 2018

Spare Friday slot

There Is a slot available in the 1pm fine dining club 4 ball. App me if you want in.
I believe there is also a slot available in the duracell 2pm match. .. speak to duracell for more details

Guess the hole

Unfortunately my phone fell out of my pocket  and clicked as badger played his 3rd shot from a fairway bunker. .. free San mig if u can guess which one😊

Thursday results

Badger  and divot
 took the dosh off HS and betty.
Play was held up by an Artisans 2 ball.. can you  spot the  culprits?
Tip  of the day. .. stroller  was in Devon and not on the course😊

Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Tuesday roll up results

Only  3 braved  the rain today... no money changed  hands between  divot, Moobs and HS .
Apres golf drinks were overseen  by Capt and bar manager .
HS had to rush off to sort out planning permission  teething  problems for Travel lodge  😆

Driveway Design

Can't  understand why council rejected drawings

CAD MAN

Rumours are rife that the best CAD MAN in the club  can lay a pipe line in the Baltic Sea but can't get a drive  way right in Byfleet

Tues Roll -up

9 at 3pm... All welcome!

Monday, 12 February 2018

Hillier 3rd Round on Sunday 7.15am

Duracell in the diving seat after shooting 39pts in 2nd Rnd (has a 29pts to drop)
He  also dished up Pizza for the lads on Sunday apres Golf... Nice one Duracell!

Saturday, 10 February 2018

Look a likely

I have been asked  to point out the similarities between  arfur  and Mike brown. ... but some say  more  like  Uncle  Fester😕


Sunday friendly

 I'm reliably informed  that Duracell will be supplying the hot food after the match.
With the tee markers being  scrupulously cleaned  today.. maybe we could  eat off the stones😊

Friday, 9 February 2018

Friday results

Playing today..
4 umpas.
Divot and Duracell... Duracell played welll... According to Duracell!
Artisan fine dining club.. H.S, bellies, stroller and special guest badger.
Badger and bellies beat the other 2 .. 2&1.
38 pts for badger and HS.
30 pts for the other 2 clowns.
Up for chumleys was betty and Gonzo

Holes in road

Big thanks to the umpa lumpas who started filling in the holes in the road.

Thursday, 8 February 2018

Artisan bartering

Having done Travelodge a small favour, I,m reliably informed I have first choice on his Organic Fruit and veg.
If you see me handling his Cucumber's and Plums in the Changing room, please don't be alarmed!

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

New Shirts/Short sleeve Pullovers list on Hut board.

Don't forget to put your name/size on sheet (on Hut board) if you are having the above.
In hindsight, probably better to put a cross if you are NOT having one , then Committee know you have responded.
Surprised the Pullover Is not a Cardy, as it seems to be what 'Fashionistas' wear!

Tuesday, 6 February 2018

Tuesday roll up results

Only  3 in roll up, with  HS taking the  dosh from Moobs  and Betty.

Tues Roll Up

9 @ 3 if anyone interested...

Little Aston Match Re-arranged

Little Aston
The away match at Little Aston has been rearranged from
September the 9th to September 16
A few guys would of been away so want to go there with good numbers
Thanks to the Tax Man for arranging

Monday, 5 February 2018

Captain's Sunday spread


Mini Away day

The Mini away day Tour has now been paid in Full.

(Hopefully 5 Bellies will be organizing the Format/4 balls)
         

Hallmark Hotel The Welcombe Stratford upon Avon 4*

6 x Twin Rooms
  • Rooms will be available from 15:00, depending on hotel occupancy you may be able to check-in earlier than this time      

Golf on The Welcombe Golf Club Course

- Tee Time is 12:04 x 12 golfers
                     
24th March 2018                 

Golf on The Welcombe Golf Club Course

  • Tee Time is 12:04 x 12 golfers
  25th March 2018             

Golf on The Welcombe Golf Club Course

  • Tee Time is 12:04 x 12 golfers

Sunday, 4 February 2018

Confirmation. ..they do look the same

2.5 bellies
Even his old lady admits an uncanny likeness to the clubs bar manager. .. may I suggest  she takes a trip into Walton-on-Thames to meet woody 😕

Shaggies broken toe

Shaggies  injury  didn't  stop him playing in medal and mincing  round the hut

Overseas members

I'm assured the original krankie is  looking  in from florIda. .
Good news .. baby krankie  is still on the wagon 😊

Lotto draw

Silverback wins twice.

Winkle of the week

Captain didn't  name one.... but if it was me...22 pts deserves a mention ... doesn't  it...
2.5 bellies
We need a vote in the hut... to see if these 2 are similar. .
Not too sure about out similar. .. but  they
 don't  work as male models😕😕

Feb results



Silverback missing from medal

I can only assume the main primate in the club was in paddy land  seeing family  members. ... hope everything is OK. 😕😕
I bet he wasn't injured  like  his plastic  playing partner.... who still  thinks he can run around  playing football at his age.... grow up parker 😂😂

Capts food

Capt knocked up some  cheese and toast and bruchettas for the lads... well received. .
I've heard a few saying thay are going glutton  free. ..as you seem to get twice as much food😊😊

Feb medal results

Well done Badger. .. back to back medals with 39pts.
Back  to 5 handicap  ...where he belongs 😊.
Also  won swindle... slasher 2nd. . Krankie  3rd.
21 PLAYERS (7 X 3 BALLS)



Saturday, 3 February 2018

Winter divots

More untrue rumours.
Kev did not ask to miss  next December work party  to attend  a highly lucrative contract in lapland😀

Away day list

Don't  forget to put  ur name on list for away  day. .. if not coming,  please also  Mark on list.

Friday, 2 February 2018

Friday's results

The fine dining artisans  group played today with  5 bellies and his brother 2.5bellies beaten HS and stroller  on the last ho!e.
Swindle scores
Bellies 40
HS 36 (lost £15..in bets..what's that about?)
Stroller 33
2.5 bellies 31
 The fine dining club had this green curry... Homemade.
There's was a spare plate for Duracell who normally has a chumley or 2 on Friday eve.
Was quickly scoffed by mumbles and co.

Mumbles celebrates birthday

Mumbles played with new probationer tricky dicky  and his mate.. Shaggys cousin to celebrate his birthday.
After drinking 11teen double brandies , he was droppped off at hand at spier to carry  on the party.

BO retains 100% record

B.O. Kept up his 100% record by being skinned alive by skid today..
9 skins to skid!! In 9 hole match

Unconfirmed Rumours

Word on the Street is that we are another man down as a fellow (Probationary) Member has called it a day!

Capts choices for the Surrey Single/4somes

Singles
Slasher
Betty
Badger
Jack Spratt
Summo

4somes
F1/Wee Man
Silverback/Parker
5 bellies/Arfur
Krankie/B.O.

Good luck to Silverback on his 10th consecutive appearance ... I,m told Parker is on borrowed time ..if he don't bring home the Bacon... we all know what happened to Cilla for under-performing!

Thursday, 1 February 2018

Thursday results

3 up today for 9 at 3...managed to get 12 in.
Skins match..
B.O. kept up his 100% record and was bridesmaid for the 4th game on the spin..
FRIDAY... Lost to woody.
Sun.. last in swindle.
Tuesday. .. battered by duracell /Krankie.
Thursday. ..eaten  alive by Moobs and HS.
SKINS results
H.S. 9
MOOBS 6
B.O .... 3 (ALL ON 1 HOLE).
Another HS birdie shot on 3rd..

3 fine 2nd shots on 5th.
Ben. O. was overheArd saying  he may ask  skid for a game to get a win under his belt 😊

Unfortunately Cilla too ill to attend divotting on Saturday morning